Beauty from Ashes ......

So I have no idea why I am sharing this here or now but I feel a prompting from God. This is my "testimony" in which God gets all the honor and glory . Okay this is a little bit of a rewind since I didn't have a blog till we were home. So we will start from the beginning ......... After my son Taylors pregnancy (which was a awful pregnancy ....I had SEVERE morning sickness) I randomnly developed Generalized Anxiety Disorder with panic disorder. In case you don't know what it is ( I had NEVER heard of it before I developed it ) it is basically 24/7 fear of everything. It is so debilitating that at times you don't want to leave your house because your house becomes your "safe place" from all the dangers of the world. The physical symptoms of a panic attack are awful, awful, awful !!! So anyways I lived with this for a few years ( the doctors concluded it was hereditary and a hormonal imbalance after pregnancy that caused it ) and did all the programs and counseling to try to get control of it. When the adoption came about I was just starting to get control of this illness . Our adoption was complicated from day one ..... well actually it was day two that we found out that the babies were an abandonment case . But again God gave us the peace to go foward. We recieved our referral in January but were not allowed to even visit until the abandonment was completed on May 30th. Fast Foward to a few days before the abandonment was complete , I felt God was leading the way for us to go and foster . WHAT ,WAIT, Are you sure ME God , maybe you picked the wrong person for this. I am not strong enough ........ Then I heard a small still voice " My strength is made PERFECT in your weakness" . So we literally packed up and moved to Guatemala , never had been there, didn't speak the language etc.. So long story short God makes beauty from ashes. He used my horrible anxiety disorder (which I am cured of now - PTL ) to make me strong enough to start the adoption and then move to foster . His ways are not our ways but they are always perfect and hindsight is ALWAYS 20/20. To be continued ..........

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